my year
I was looking thru some of my 1st of the year blog postings. This one still holds true even months later.
which I have been planning for the last 9mos or so, and I am doing by the way. Oh, in lets say 2.5+ weeks or so from now thank you very much. I have also become a firm believer in the saying, "Life happens when you are making other plans." It's too damn true not to believe after the year I have already lived through. I'm also slowly believing that somehow after this murky, ugly year, I will grow, I will become stronger. I will totally get and try never to forget just how precious life is, and how very fragile it is.
I will make this short and sweet my 2 readers. I will leave you with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. I think it may just be one of my all time favorites. She was an amazing woman Ms. Eleanor. She was definitely a progressive woman that is for sure.
I am here reading each blog. I have shed tears with you this year but I am sadly ineffective at comforting such a deep pain. I will be cheering for you in your race and praying it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a boost for the races ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you beardies3. It really means a lot to me knowing that you have such a distinguished blog list and are reading mine. I appreciate your words. They are a comfort more than you know.
ReplyDeleteI have just stumbled across your blog and read back across your posts since January 2011 and although I will never meet you, my heart breaks for you and your family. You see, 351 days ago my younger brother died. A year ago tomorrow, I along with my older brother, had to identify Adam's body for the police and coroner. I then had to call my parents who were travelling in the UK and tell them that their youngest son was dead. Easily the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. Tomorrow, 3 October, we hit the first year anniversary of his death and celebrate what would have been his 36th birthday. Yep, he died by himself on his 35th birthday. Drugs was the official ruling - after being clean for more than 5 years, he took a hit of heroin, even though he was on a blocker drug and had been told that mixing it with even the tiniest amount of heroin could kill him. 12 months on I am angry, frustrated, overwhelmed and still devastated. Most of all i just don't fucking understand how someone with so much to live for could take such fucking stupid chances. Anyways somewhere along the line in the last 12 months I started running - so much anger and sadness to vent so i hit the pavement. Its allowed me to plaster a smile on my face for the past 12 months and convince everyone that I am doing great.
ReplyDeleteNext Sunday, 9 Oct, I will be running my first half marathon - between you, me and the lamppost, I will be running it for Adam, I will be thinking of him as a I run, probably crying (I will look like a total tool) but it will be my way of saying goodbye.
Good luck in Chicago, run for your son but also run for yourself and the strength that you have found to just get through each day of the last few months. Oh, and write whatever the hell you want on your blog - those of us who have lost someone we loved understand that there a days, weeks even, where putting on a brave smile is just too fucking hard.
OMG!! Mel, so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard dealing w/the anniversary of your brother's death was. I don't even want to look that far ahead myself just yet.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you started running or getting back into it. Just the physical nature of running or any aerobic exercise seems to help mentally. I'm glad you are being proactive. It would be so much easier to find a crutch ie; alcohol, drugs, etc., for both of us. Believe me the pull to escape can be pretty great.
Hang in there. I hope you had an awesome 1/2 yesterday. Keep it up!