I'm ok, like really??

Why do we always feel the need to say, "I'm ok?" 

Since Trent died, I get the question(s), "how are you?"  That's it in a nutshell really.  How do you reply to that as a mother who has recently lost her 1st born, her 1st son?  Of course...duh!  "I'm ok."  That's it.  Finished.  Don't ask anymore frickin questions, DON'T!  Most peeps are good about just receiving that info, cept for my friends.  Thank you guys because you know when I'm not "just ok."  Tho, I did have one person ask me how my son died when I 1st came back to work.  Like really?  Isn't it enuf that you know he died and I was honest about that, but now you want to ask the details of his death?  I have to admit that was one time where I did give this peep the gory details.  Then she went on and on about....someone else she knew, etc.  I'm like WTF?  I smiled, held my composure and wished her glass fragments in her eyes when I walked away.  I kept breathing and saying to myself, "I'm ok"  yeah...I'm ok........................................

Unfortunately recently I've hit the wall with my son's death.  It's hard to move, hard to breathe, hard to keep on.   My BF told me to listen to this song...unfortunately she knows me too well.  It pretty much is me in a nutshell.  Unfortunately, I am ok, but not. Tho that's ok, right?