Letters......

Heya Trent,


How's it going up in Heaven?  I'm sure you are basking in the warm beach sun right now...forever...ever.


I woke up at 1:00 a.m. thinking of you, yet again.  I've always been somewhat of an insomniac...well guess what?  It's triggered it's ugly head again.  Huh?  Wonder why, eh?


I sure do miss you, ya know?  I miss all that you were and my strongest dreams for you and your life as you would continue to grow into an awesome man.       

We all miss you in different ways around here. 

I miss not being able to touch base after watching Game of Thrones, and getting scolded by you for not knowing the characters by names just yet.  Hey, hey!  You read the books about x3 or more, so you should know all the characters dude.

I miss texting you bout life, work, etc.  Even if it was little piddly ass things...it was still nice to connect with you since you were stationed clear across country.  I miss the fact that I won't see you, hug you, rumple your stubby head, see your beautiful smile and hear your laugh.  I'll miss the fact that you won't give me shit about whatever anymore.  You were always very good at doing that- giving me shit about "whatever."

I keep thinking if only I knew it was going to be your last visit this last Feb.,...the last time to hold you, talk with you, give you crap......what could I have done differently?  Short answer is nothing really.  We spent time, you got your fill of xBox, PS3 and whatever other gaming device you could get your hands on.  You hung out with your bro, gave your sister some grief, and met up with a few old friends.  You ate all of my food and then some.  You also drank a case or more of diet coke, nice.  I dunno, would it had made a difference to keep you home, try to make sure you were safe?  It's always difficult to watch over someone when they are their own worst enemy.

I have to laugh right now, cuz you are frustrating the hell outta me still.  You were always on/off frustrating to raise.  I remember reading a Tony Robbins' book and he mentioned that frustration is one of the keys to almost being there, accomplishing your goal.  I can only hope someday soon I will discover what the end accomplishment or goal is to my high level of frustration over your death.